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Wednesday, Apr. 07, 2004 - 9:15 pm
Sleepover, eh? Intriguing.
Welcome one and all. Please be seated. Today we have a very special announcement to make.
As you well know this diary has always been a peaceful haven for all. Different Cultures. Difefrent Creeds. Different Genders. Small marsupials. Crustaceons. Little plastic pirate swords for holding sandwiches together. An assortment of cheeses in a hand crafted wicker basket. All these things coexist and make up the splendour that is my diary. And today I am proud to announce a new minority group to the fold.
So lets all give a big welcome to the toilet dwelling photographists of female ejaculation. Good for you. But seriously. I love it when random porn sites sign my guestbook. It is the best. It makes me feel like I am actually doing something good and right in this world.
I am a modern day messiah. Tho I am certainly not going to die for anybodies sins. Which reminds me. It is Easter this weekend. A lady at my door asked me how I felt about Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, dying for my sins. My sins in particular she singled out. He died for my sins. Not yours. Or so it seems.
I am slightly worried now. Are my sins really that bad? Sure I accidentally urinated on a church that time. But I felt bad about it. Is it really bad enough to send ripples of sinful evil 2000 years in to the past and give Jesus a migraine.
Has my constant masturbation, taking of the lords name in vain and alcoholic consumption actually broken a hole in the very fabric of reality and sent echoes of future sin cascading over him. Did I infact cause Jesus Christ to commit suicide by crucifixion just to escape my heinous crimes. Am I doing it right now? Was it nothing more than a mercy killing?
And if so when he rose from the dead days later was he pissed off? I know I would be. You go to all the trouble of dying and then you come back to life again. I am getting frightened. Does Jesus have yet another reason to hate me? I don't want to think about it anymore. It makes me sad.
So I told the lady I felt wonderful and as politely as possible ended the conversation and went back to watching Jerry Springer. And 200 years in the past Jesus swore and cursed my name as he stubbed his toe.
But in things completely unrelated to jesus and my sinful murder of him. It has been requested of me by one of the often mentioned 'hotties' at work to include them in this entry.
The young lady shall henceforth be know as Turtle Girl. Because she told me to call her that. Also she likes to ride on a turtle and shoot motherfuckers. And rightly so. They need shooting and she is just the girl to do it.
I am meant to tell you that herself and another girl we work with who shall be known as The Scientist are, and I quote "The fantastic brilliant asians around perth". Now I am not so sure if that is true or not. But I will give her the benefit of the doubt.
As far as fantastic and brillaint asians go they are surely up there I suppose. They hate our bosses as much as me. Perhaps more sometimes. Tho I am not really sure if that is possible. They read mens magazines and check out the girls. More than I do. They dance. They sing. They laugh. Probably. Also they have breasts.
Firm perky breasts.
live in the past | look to the future
